Anger Management Counselling in Melbourne

Save your relationship

Individuals who act hot-headed or flare up easily require anger management counselling. Unaware of their own rage, they often feel they are the victim of the mistreatment of others and are only defending themselves while being provoked. Reacting angrily allows them to get rid of unwanted feelings that become triggered. Many find fault in others for causing them to feel in a particular way. The more these feelings are externalised as being caused by others, the more they do not take responsibility of their anger.

Caught in a whirlwind of intense emotions, these angry feelings get discharged onto those around them, as a way to rid themselves of underlying painful feelings. Reacting in the heat of the moment causes them to lose grip of one’s behaviour, while not seeing the impact on loved ones.

Many will deny the abuse that they caused because they were caught in whirlwind of intense emotions and reacted to discharge the feeling.

The more one pushes down uncomfortable feelings, the more they can discharge them onto others, by finding fault in others or seeing things wrong in partners. Anger protects against underlying feelings such as insecurity, jealousy or inadequacy. One can be angry because they cannot get in touch with their underlying feelings. When the underlying feelings are addressed in therapy, then the angry outburst can diminish.

Anger management counselling helps to get in touch with these underlying feelings to dissolve the angry outbursts and resolves unexpressed needs or feelings. To manage anger, it is more important to work through the pain than continue to have angry episodes.

Anger Therapy allows individuals to understand what underlies outbursts of temper, so that they can effectively communicate how they really feel. Rather than pushing loved ones away, they can obtain a better understanding from those they love.

Our therapy works by processing one’s anger by locating underlying feelings and managing them, so they feel less heated in the moment. When uncomfortable feelings are contained within, they can express underlying hurt more easily and foster stronger relationships.

We help manage passive aggressive anger and couples conflict in relationships

Couples who cannot express healthy anger assertively can end up acting out in a worse manner by withdrawing from the marriage or being spiteful to ward off hurt feelings towards their spouse. Addictions and infidelity are indirect forms of anger that reflect unexpressed feelings or unmet needs.

Melbourne Anger Management Counselling 1

The danger is when spouses give up themselves by pleasing the other in a relationship, as they become bitter or resentful when their needs are not met. Passive forms of anger or resistance can be seen as non-contributing in the marriage.

In couple’s therapy, many don’t notice that something has upset them, until they act out their anger towards their partner by giving up or not caring. Actively registering one’s anger is healthy. It allows us to take care of ourselves and the situation, by telling us that something is not right.

Counselling Service Melbourne offers relationship counselling services for individuals who have developed destructive patterns. We also offer couples counselling for volatile and hostile couples.

Many couples can de-escalate conflict, slow down, and process what is underneath the defensive reactions and express underlying hurt feelings, foster calmer conversations, and listen to each other. Each partner can respond to the underlying feelings that don’t get expressed and is able to resolve all kinds of explosive arguments.

Counselling for anger offers an effective anger management strategy to assist spouses to express themselves, be able to deal with the conflict and overcome explosive reactions.

Abusive relationships

Partners can react abusively when they perceive they are being attacked by their spouse. Their anger protects them from feeling wounded by their spouse. Abusive partners react when their partner addresses their behaviour, often misinterpreting it as criticism. They may also feel victimised and attack back in order to ward off the underlying injury.

Many do not take ownership for the problem and protect themselves by blaming their partner, causing them to back down from expressing themselves, causing them to feel stuck in an abusive relationship.

Individuals who rant and rave or become aggressive often have a fragmented sense of self and feel better when they hurt others, since it rids them of the pain. Jealousy can cause them to feel deflated, so they set out to put their partner down in order feel better.

This can be the case with narcissistic personality disorder, where the pathological grandiose self inflates to ward off narcissistic injury.

Often, many people who fall victim to bad-tempered partners feel unworthy of love, and are overly empathic or self-sacrificing, where they put up with abusive treatment in the hopeful fantasy of seeking love to feel good about themselves. Eventually, these battered partners end up angry when they see the trail of destruction that these relationships have caused them.

Many abused partners seek individual therapy to recover from abuse and rebuild their lives. Many want to understand why they are attracted to abusive relationships.

Our anger management counselling allows one to obtain strategies for anger management and express healthy anger assertively. Managing anger allows one to move on from the past self-destructive behaviour as well.

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